I knew going into the book that it probably wasn't going to be that detailed. After all, it was being sold at Deseret Book (a conservative LDS store). As morbid as it might sound, I was hoping for a thoroughly detailed book, similar to the details given by the Child called It series. However, Smart's book was detailed enough to give the reader a glimpse or even an idea of what happened and left plenty to the imagination. If books were given a rating, I would think it would be rated PG.
Even though it did not contain the details I was desirous to devour, the book was captivating and engaging throughout. I didn't want to put it down. It was detailed enough to give me nightmares of her kidnapper, though (I read it at night, not so bright move on my part).
The horrors she went through were like Smart said, indescribable, or impossible to put into words. She was forced into a form of polygamous marriage at 14. She was chained to a tree like an animal. She went without water and food for days at a time. When she did have those basic necessities they were rationed into minuscule portions. She was forced to get drunk, and she even once woke up in her own vomit. She was forced to smoke cigarettes as well as other drugs. She was also forced to spend some days completely naked. She spent her days sitting outside in the harsh desert heat of either Utah or California. She spent her nights sleeping in a tent next to the man who raped her daily (sometimes multiple times a day). The clothes she wore were tattered rags, or clothing that even the homeless discarded as being too dirty or too worn. Her showers were maybe once a week and they included just a few cups full of ice-cold spring water being poured down her body.
What was very frustrating were her recounts of encounters where she almost was saved. They happened a few times and if only someone looked closer. There was a helicopter so close to their camp, clearly looking for her, it was so close that their tent was blowing fiercely...but it did not see their camp. There were hikers and other passerby's that ran by or looked away. There was a police officer so worried about offending the captor's religious freedoms that he was helpless and let them go. It made me yell out NOOO!! many times. So close were some of these encounters, it was heartbreaking.
I found her very brave and strong throughout it all. I was shocked to learn that she was sometimes sassy to her captors. She would talk-back and even tried to talk reason into them. Throughout her miserable journey she showed courage and strong faith. She never wavered in her belief in a God. She believed her grandfather was one of her guardian angels. She said she experienced miracles, one of which was during the first few weeks of her captivity. She was desperately thirsty, as were her captors, but the evil man (who doesn't deserve to even be mentioned by name) was lazy and didn't want to make the arduous journey to the springs or even into town. On a cool night she was woken up by a slight breeze, her captors sound asleep, she looked next to her tattered pillow to see a cup of water. She had no idea where it came from, her captors surely would never have shared if there was any more water in their camp. Yet, there was a cup full of water, sitting there next to her pillow. She drank it and it was ice cold. She believed it was a miracle letting her know God was there for her and was taking care of her.
One might think her silly to believe in a God who was supposedly watching out for her but let her get kidnapped. Her explanation for this is amazing.
“I don’t think what happened to me was something that God intended. He surely would not have wished the anguish and torment that I was about to go through on anyone, especially upon a child.
But since that time, I have learned an important lesson. Yes, God can make some good come from evil. But even He, in all His majesty, won’t make the evil go away. Men are free. He won’t control them. There is wickedness in this world.
Which left me with this: When faced with pain and evil, we have to make a choice.
We can choose to be taken by the evil.
Or we can try to embrace the good.”
She had such faith throughout her time in what she described as "nine months of hell." She was only 14 years old and had more faith than people twice her age. When many people would have given up and given in, she held onto her faith, it was what kept her going. Her faith gave her the desire and strength to survive. She would tell herself that she would do whatever it took to survive.
Some people may wonder why she didn't speak out during the times she was walking around in public with her captors. By then she was thoroughly brainwashed into believing that if she did that, her family would be in grave danger. She did everything in order to protect her family. She suffered believing that the man who held her captive would find her and not just physically hurt her family, but kill her family. She believed without a doubt that the man was capable of committing those murders.
Elizabeth Smart continually denied throughout the book that she developed any sort of affection for her captors. She hated them through and through. She did what she had to to survive, that was it. She never liked them, she never loved them. She believed they were pure evil.
Near the end of her tortuous time, she was living in California when she got a brilliant idea. She was able to convince her captors into going back to Utah. She pretended to temporarily buy into the evil man's ideas that he was a prophet and told the man that God told her that they needed to preach in Utah. The man ate it up and back to Utah they went. Once they made it back to Utah, (they hitch hiked the whole way) a few police officers stopped them and questioned her and her captors. It was then she had a moment of pure bravery and said the now famous words..."I am Elizabeth Smart."
When she was reunited with her family I burst into tears. It was a wonderful moment. I could feel the love, the gratitude, the anxiousness, it was overwhelming. Smart goes on to say how she never received professional counseling afterwards. Her therapy included horseback riding, and playing her harp. She has such a good attitude about it all. She describes her life as truly blessed. She said she has lived a little over 300 months, and just 9 of them were bad...so her life in the grand scheme of things was not too bad. My jaw dropped when I read her explanation. How she could have such a positive attitude about her ordeal is beyond me. She is truly a remarkable individual and a shining example for the world.
I recommend this book and I think everyone should read it. It strengthened my own faith and made me appreciate life for all its beauties and glories. Life is something to be cherished. Life is meant to be lived. I am grateful for the opportunity, for that was truly what it was, to have read Elizabeth Smart's memoirs.
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